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Compelling People

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Compelling People

The Hidden Qualities That Make Us Influential

Hudson Street Press,

15 min read
10 take-aways
Audio & text

What's inside?

Studying compelling people teaches you to be more influential.

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Editorial Rating

8

Qualities

  • Applicable
  • Well Structured
  • Concrete Examples

Recommendation

People celebrate those who know how to project both “strength and warmth,” such as Oprah Winfrey and Bill Clinton, as well as community and business leaders. Communications consultants John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut offer a refined approach for projecting your strength and warmth. They apply their methods to research and knowledge in several areas, including verbal and nonverbal communication, leadership, and relationships. Their goal is to help you become a more appealing, effective leader by giving you strategies to increase your perceived strength and warmth. While the authors’ leadership skills aren’t new, they do provide a fresh context and a handle on understanding how others see you. getAbstract recommends this text to leaders, aspiring leaders and anyone who wants to make a good impression.

Summary

Strength Plus Warmth Equals Success

People use two criteria to evaluate and judge others: “strength and warmth.” Strength refers to someone’s abilities and apparent resolve. Warmth is a person’s capacity to express empathy and connect with others. Interestingly, the two characteristics oppose each other. Strong people may come off as cold; warm people can seem weak.

Like everyone else, you project unique social cues about the kind of person you are. Speaking forcefully, assuming a serious expression or making a quick decision creates an impression of strength, but not warmth. Acquiescing, smiling and speaking softly may project warmth, but not strength. People who project both strength and warmth are instantly effective.

Strength consists of “ability and will”: the capacity to bring about change, coupled with the determination to make things happen. Strength requires competence – the social skills, technical expertise and experience to achieve a goal. Will is the force of character needed to persevere in the face of obstructions and difficulties.

The “marshmallow experiment,” a well-known study conducted at Stanford University, showed that small children...

About the Authors

John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut are founding partners of KNP Communications, a consultancy specializing in communications and live presentations.

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