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The Coward's Guide to Conflict

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The Coward's Guide to Conflict

Empowering Solutions for Those Who Would Rather Run Than Fight

Sourcebooks,

15 min read
10 take-aways
Text available

What's inside?

If you are hiding under the table instead of facing a conflict, come on out and learn how to fight fairly and finally.

Editorial Rating

7

Recommendation

This is a fine, short guide to managing conflict. Author Tim Ursiny particularly addresses those of you who are "conflict cowards," people who do not like conflict...and who does, outside of a few well-compensated litigaters? Ursiny himself is a confessed hater of conflict. He has hated it ever since he was a child and now, even though he’s an executive coach and a fairly beefy guy, he still hates it. He is also a psychologist, and his style and approach have much in common with the work of other pop psychology writers, although this guide is more useful than most. Ursiny keeps the reading light by providing ample anecdotes and he invites readers to participate through several self-examination questionnaires. He provides some clearly written, easily accessible explanations of how conflicts occur and how to manage them. In fact, he defines conflict, its consequences and even its benefits so broadly that almost anyone fits the book’s target audience. You got a problem with that? getAbstract.com doesn’t and warmly recommends this entertaining, refreshing book, which - we agree - has something for almost everyone who’d rather duck than fight.

Summary

Lots of People Hate Conflict

You are not the only conflict coward but, unfortunately, hating conflict doesn't make it go away. Life is full of conflict. A lot of people have conflict-ridden marriages, jobs and relationships. Some people run into conflict whenever they go to a supermarket. They encounter conflict in the parking lot and in the checkout aisle. Conflict can even flare up in churches, synagogues and mosques. No area or dimension of life is immune.

Learning to deal with conflict is very fruitful. Among its fruits are:

  • Overcoming fear so that you can handle conflict when you must.
  • Understanding how and when to address a conflict.
  • Gaining the ability to calm people who are upset.
  • Confronting people when they need confronting, without hurting them.
  • Developing the diplomatic skill to manage conflict with co-workers and bosses while staying employed.

You might respond to conflict or the possibility of conflict in one of seven ways:

  1. Avoidance — Avoiding conflict may be more comfortable, but it does not allow you to resolve the conflict's underlying causes. You may...

About the Author

Tim Ursiny is the founder and president of Advantage Coaching & Training and a frequent speaker at corporate events.

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