I Hear You

At a Loss for Words

Many people know what they want to say, but become frustrated when they feel the person with whom they’re talking doesn't seem to hear them. When you’re stuck, the instinctive response is to “give up trying to make it better.” Frustrated people tend to get angry, disengage or both. You need to change the dynamic if any of these descriptions apply:

• You’re dissatisfied with your current situation.
• You notice an unhealthy pattern of repetition.
• You feel unable to improve or change the situation.
• Steps you’ve taken to try to improve the situation aren’t working.
• You are unhappy.
• You think the “other person is the worst person in the world.”

It Starts with You

Wendy felt that her co-worker, Kevin, shirked his responsibilities, shifted difficult assignments to her and left the office early. Wendy confronted Kevin; he claimed he finished his work before he left. Her conversation with Kevin proved unconstructive because when she challenged him, he became defensive. Wendy grew angry at any suggestion she could be to blame for their conflict.

“I’m the one who is working my tail off all...