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Talking Taboo

Making the Most of Polarizing Discussions at Work

Alexander Alonso

SHRM, 2022

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Equity expert Alexander Alonso shares insights from his investigations into workplace conflict and polarization around “taboo” topics. He references data from recent Society for Human Resource Management surveys revealing the pervasiveness of difficult, emotional and even hostile conflict at work. But Alonso urges leaders to resist shutting down discussions about controversial topics such as race, religion, abortion and gun control. Instead, firms should equip their employees with skills to engage in respectful debate. Alonso offers a framework for doing so, supported by dozens of case vignettes.

Summary

Despite lifelong warnings from parents, teachers and bosses, most people can’t resist talking about taboo topics.

Most people want to express their opinions on important topics and feel the emotions that come with doing so. These topics include the staples – politics, religion and sex – as well as the polarizing issues of the day: Black Lives Matter, police brutality against minorities, gun control, vaccines, abortion and many more.

At work, leaders might try to discourage or even prohibit employees from engaging in non-work-related discussions about controversial subjects for fear of the conflict that could result. These efforts to keep the peace usually fail. Instead, employers should help people manage difficult conversations so a more resilient, respectful and open culture can emerge.

Author Alexander Alonso, a Cuban immigrant, has experienced racism and related tensions throughout his life. In college, Alonso engaged in a heated argument with another student when US immigration officers violently deported Elián González, just a child at the time. Later, he observed colleagues at work in deep...

About the Author

Alexander Alonso is chief knowledge officer for the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM). He is a founding member of the SHRM Blue Ribbon Commission on Racial Equity in the Workplace.

Talking Taboo

Making the Most of Polarizing Discussions at Work

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Summary

Despite lifelong warnings from parents, teachers and bosses, most people can’t resist talking about taboo topics.

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