Summary of Stop Spoiling That Man

Turn Your Needy Guy into an Equal, Loving Partner

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Stop Spoiling That Man book summary
Spoiling your man will spoil your marriage. Change your relationship to an equal partnership.


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Every fulfilling and satisfying relationship requires a bit of give and take. However, if you are responsible for all of the giving and he is enjoying all of the taking, you’re guilty of spoiling your man. Spoiling is not the same as nurturing or loving. Instead, it places his needs above your needs. The spoiled man is happy to let you make all of the decisions, do all of the work and bear the responsibility for maintaining all aspects of your relationship. This unhealthy imbalance will eventually leave you feeling unsettled, unsatisfied and unloved. If your mate has taken up permanent residence on the couch in front of the TV with a snack and a beer (that you gave him), getAbstract suggests that it’s time you read this book. Here, you’ll learn how to recognize the ways in which he manipulates and controls you. You’ll also find strategies to launch an “unspoiling” campaign. Although some of the maneuvers recommended by husband and wife authors John B. Arden and Victoria Arden seem a bit devious, they might just be what your spouse needs to be a mature man, not a pouting prince.

In this summary, you will learn

  • What elements make up a healthy relationship and how spoiling upsets this balance
  • How to recognize the tactics men use to manipulate their mates into spoiling them
  • What skills you need to put your relationship on equal footing


It Takes Two to Spoil
What is a spoiled man? A spoiled man is the man who demands more than your fair share of attention and participation without giving the same in return. He uses a variety of tactics to control and manipulate you. However, your role as the spoiler is not entirely his...
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About the Author

John B. Arden, Ph.D., is an author, counselor, teacher and director of mental-health training in Northern California. He has more than two decades of experience in counseling couples. Victoria Arden, M.A. is an art educator, mother and mental-health professional.

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