The 11 Laws of Likability

Relationship Networking...Because People Do Business With People They Like

AMACOM, 2011

15 min read

10 take-aways

Audio & text

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Here’s how to ensure that others like you.

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In an era that reveres networking, when Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter are the new town squares and the number of your online friends and followers is your social currency, few issues are more vital than likability. Connections guru Michelle Tillis Lederman provides 11 sensible laws to enhance your likability. Her rules are elementary and predictable, though she leaves out the most obvious and all-encompassing one: be nice. getAbstract warmly recommends her rules to those who need help socializing. If you are socially out of touch, no matter how skilled you are in the library, in the lab or at the laptop, Lederman’s book will help you connect.

Summary

Don’t Network, Connect

Networking need not be a strategic, artificial, mechanistic, goal-oriented exercise you dread or that deadens your soul. Some experts claim that to be a successful networker, you must attend a certain number of social or business functions, meet just so many people, engage in a particular number of conversations or hand out X number of business cards.

None of that is true. Don’t network with people; connect with them instead. Start by being authentic, open and honest. Build from there to become happier and more likable. Create relationships that count by focusing on the “11 laws of likability”:

1. “The Law of Authenticity”

People do not like phonies. To be likable, plainly exhibit your true self. If you present yourself artificially, people will see through you. They will not like you, and you won’t be comfortable with yourself. You’ll feel awkward, which will exacerbate your sense of unease, making you even more uncomfortable, and making people around you uncomfortable. The more insincerely you act, the more people will find you suspicious.

Be true to who you are. Regardless of circumstances, never adopt a false ...

About the Author

Michelle Tillis Lederman, an adjunct professor at NYU’s Stern School of Business, is CEO of Executive Essentials, a company that delivers leadership programs to organizations. She is a faculty member of the American Management Association.

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T. B. 9 years ago

I have always found that no matter what the relationship is listening plays the biggest part in communication. To hear each others thoughts helps you to build stronger feelings of respect and understanding. It is important to be kind to yourself and to others and to be yourself (your real self)
M. S. 9 years ago

in every relationship you need to be a good listener, be patient always give your positive thoughts. have a different way of approach, be kind, be humble most important be yourself not to be afraid of an opinion accept criticism
T. D. 1 decade ago

It's an excellent summary. Keeping those things and mind an being reminded of some that get forgotten way too easily.

Michelle Tillis Lederman