Summary of The Verbally Abusive Man. Can He Change?

A Woman's Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go

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The Verbally Abusive Man. Can He Change? book summary
If your partner is verbally abusive, the questions that loom are, “Can he change?” and “Will he?” Here’s how to know.

Rating

7 Overall

8 Applicability

8 Innovation

7 Style

Recommendation

Communication specialist Patricia Evans explores the issue of verbal abuse in heterosexual relationships. She builds on her previous work in The Verbally Abusive Relationship and Controlling People by posing the question, “Can a verbally abusive man really change?” What is particularly startling about verbal abuse, Evans explains, is that in almost every case the abuser feels that he is the one being attacked. (Rarely, abusers are female, but such cases aren’t discussed in this book.) Getting him to own up to his damaging behavior is not easy. Motivating him to change is even more difficult. Evans supplies tools you can use to determine if your partner is likely to change and a program that can help him do so, if you think he can alter his abusive behavior. Evans uses her book as a pulpit to preach against unqualified therapists, verbal abuse in all its forms and the male-dominated society that has made such abuse possible. But, her cause is just, and getAbstract recommends this important resource to anyone who is struggling to survive an abusive relationship and to therapists who are seeking solid information.

In this summary, you will learn

  • Why some men verbally abuse their partners
  • How to recognize verbal abuse
  • How to decide if your verbally abusive mate is capable of change
  • How to write and present the “Agreement,” the vehicle for transforming your relationship into one that is mutually supportive, loving and empathetic
 

Summary

Can He Change?
A woman might suffer from verbal abuse for years, yet her abuser may never think of himself as irrational or abusive. In fact, most abusers defend their actions by explaining that their partners attacked them. Before an abuser becomes willing to change his behavior, he must...
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About the Author

Patricia Evans wrote several bestselling books on verbal abuse and is an activist for the cause. She founded an interpersonal communication institute and is a consultant, speaker and facilitator.


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