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Do Hard Things

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Do Hard Things

Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

HarperOne,

15 min read
6 take-aways
Audio & text

What's inside?

Old-school cultures of “fake toughness” rely on authoritarian tactics but create fragility. Instead, foster “true toughness.”

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Editorial Rating

8

Qualities

  • Concrete Examples
  • Engaging
  • Inspiring

Recommendation

Once upon a time, being tough meant pushing through pain while ignoring your body and emotions. Happily, Steve Magness’s research into “true toughness” dispels that myth. Tough people tune into their discomfort, using their body’s signals to guide them in better decision-making, argues athletics performance coach Magness. Replete with real-life examples and academic studies, Magness’s treatise challenges old-school cultures of “fake toughness” that center on coercive, command-and-control-style leadership. He urges readers to “support, not thwart,” themselves and others instead.

Summary

Authoritarian, fear-based cultures breed fragility, not “real toughness.”

In the world of professional sports, far too many player injuries — and even deaths — occur because coaches keep wounded athletes in the game, driven by a misguided, old-school view of “toughness” as a blend of discipline, stoicism, persistence, and machismo. For example, University of Maryland football player Jordan McNair died of heatstroke in 2018 after his coach yelled at him to keep training rather than allowing him to rest when he was struggling with cramps. Likewise, taking an authoritarian approach to teaching and parenting can result in serious harm. Children raised by authoritarian parents are more likely to engage in aggressive behavior, substance abuse, and risky behavior later in life. People who push others past their limits and create a culture of fear and control are often driven by a misguided perception of toughness, which, ironically, increases the likelihood of creating vulnerability and dependence.

“Fake toughness” is “control- and power-driven,” cultivated through fear, and inspired by insecurity. It prioritizes...

About the Author

Steve Magness is an athletics performance coach, the author of The Science of Running and a co-author of both The Passion Paradox and Peak Performance. He is a co-founder of the Growth Equation, a performance consultancy.

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