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Stop Trying to Raise Successful Kids
Article

Stop Trying to Raise Successful Kids

And start raising kind ones.

Adam Grant and Allison Sweet Grant
The Atlantic, 2019
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Editorial Rating

9

Qualities

  • Applicable
  • Well Structured
  • Engaging

Recommendation

Most parents want their children to succeed, but too often they emphasize accomplishment over developing character traits such as kindness and generosity. This leads kids to value these virtues less. In this Atlantic article, psychologist Adam Grant and psychiatric nurse practitioner Allison Sweet Grant argue persuasively for a different approach. Instead of inquiring about their test scores at the dinner table, ask your children how they helped others. Soon they’ll be looking for the opportunity to do so, and you’ll be helping them learn to balance reaching goals with being a good person. Parents will appreciate learning how doing good becomes a path to doing well.

Take-Aways

  • Most parents say they value kindness in their kids, but kids say their parents want them to achieve above all else.
  • Parental expectations create the values children embrace.
  • Convey that you value kindness and caring by asking not only about your children’s accomplishments but also about how they help others.

About the Authors

Adam Grant, PhD, teaches organizational psychology at the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School of Business. His wife, Allison Sweet Grant, is a writer and psychiatric nurse practitioner.

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