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化解冲突的七大原则
书籍

化解冲突的七大原则

如何解决争端、摆脱困境并达成协议

FT Publishing, 2018 more...

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关键特征

  • 实用性
  • 结构清晰
  • 实例

导读荐语

仲裁师路易莎·温斯坦提出了化解冲突的七大原则。她认为,在处理冲突之前,要先平息个人的焦虑感。不要让冲突升级,而要分析其背后原因,尝试化解冲突。语言既能化解冲突,也能使其加剧;而要化解冲突,“深度广泛倾听”很重要。要多思考对话中的潜台词,留心人们刻意回避的话题。温斯坦的很多观点都在强调,那你需要抛开一时冲动之下的防御反应。对人事从业者及新人仲裁师来说,她的建议将是非常有用的。

浓缩书

面对冲突

要有效解决冲突,你必须先放轻松,相信自己有能力应对。但如果选择逃避或者忽视冲突,你会让自己陷入困境,在高压之下给予自己更多束缚。

科学家称,人性有七种“本能”,即:“探索、愤怒、恐惧、惊慌、关怀、快乐/性欲和玩耍”。探索本能驱使你了解周围环境,发现自己的不足之处。若要在冲突环境下找到高效新颖的解决之道,你必须挖掘这项本能。要记住,极端焦虑会使你失去这一能力。你需要抛开焦虑,化解冲突。玩耍本能对此非常重要,它能帮助你找出新的解决方法,而非聚焦于单一方案。你可以探索不同的解决方案,但不一定都要做到完美。

冲突就是团体、个人、企业或政府机构之间的不和。冲突可能起源于很小的事情。如果当事方不及时解决小问题,冲突可能会加剧。很多人都不喜欢冲突,想要尽量避免冲突;他们甚至也会避开并不介意冲突的人。但他们并不知道,若能在深思熟虑之后找到强有力的解决方案,便能将冲突化为机遇,甚至找到在非冲突条件下无法找到的全新解决方式。

恢复平衡

与他人意见不一很正常,但这可能会导致意想不到的结果,例如闹上法庭等。长期忽视一些小问题,累积起来就可能变成严重冲突。若想改变策略,你需要有意而为。改变对一个人来说并不舒服,因为你不知道会有什么风险。别人可能会责怪或者利用你。另外,就算付出再大努力,你也不一定能够成功解决问题。不确定因素永远存在,这也是为什么即便当事双方都心存善意,有些冲突仍会持续很多年。

关于作者

路易莎·温斯坦(Louisa Weinstein)是一名经验丰富的仲裁师兼培训师,擅长解决公司与私募股权法、公营部门咨询工作和社会企业的有关问题。


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