Summary of How to Instantly Connect with Anyone

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How to Instantly Connect with Anyone book summary

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Is it manipulative to speak to others in a way you know will please them? Purists of the to-thine-own-self-be-true school may think so, but the people on the receiving end of your courtesy, deference and regard will not. Communications consultant Leil Lowndes has assembled 96 techniques you can use to make others feel good about you – often by making them feel good about themselves. These techniques work best, of course, when applied with sincerity and not phony zeal. Your purpose is not to flatter people, but to engender their positive regard. Scheming? Calculating? That’s up to you to decide. Although you may not choose to follow Lowndes' sometimes boundary-testing advice to the letter, getAbstract recommends her fun book to anyone who needs a boost in getting along well with others. So unless you are already a bon vivant – or, conversely, a hermit – this book is for you.

About the Author

Leil Lowndes is a consultant, speaker and writer. She owns and runs a firm that provides promotional services to major corporations, and is the author of How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You and How to Talk with Anyone, both bestsellers.


Focus on Others and They Will Focus on You

Numerous effective communication techniques and subtle stratagems allow you to build confidence, speak easily with others and connect positively with everyone you meet. These techniques enable you to promote other people’s feelings of self-esteem, thus encouraging them to feel good about themselves and sparking their appreciation of you.

To achieve this state of personal grace, exercise your practical ability to make an “emotional prediction,” that is, to think through how other people will feel in reaction to something you say or do. To exercise this ability, learn a few of these tricks:

Good Impressions

Here’s how to make everyone immediately feel good about being with you:

  • “How to develop excellent eye contact” – To maintain strong eye contact, deliberately investigate other people’s eyes. Try to determine their eye color, the length of their lashes, how often they blink and if they wear contact lenses. Look and see. Become an eye detective.
  • “How to wear confidence when meeting people” – Do not wear something you just bought when you meet someone new...

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