Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office

101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make that Sabotage Their Careers

Warner Books, 2004

15 min read

10 take-aways

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What's inside?

Women who want to lead must take charge and not act like the traditionally feminine followers they were raised to be.

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Author, coach and psychotherapist Lois P. Frankel explains how traditionally feminine behavior undermines women’s career growth. She makes you feel as comfortable as possible while teaching you about "girlish" behavior that holds you back at work. As soon as she describes a problem, she jumps in with doable solutions, some easy, some quite challenging or time-consuming. Frankel shares case histories and offers many applicable techniques. She uses humor deftly and warns the gung-ho not to change everything at once. Now the caveats: Frankel does not grapple with the insoluble problem that women who behave in more forceful, unfeminine ways are often disliked and rejected, a maddening Catch 22 if you want to advance. She should warn that even smart tactics rarely help in a truly sexist workplace. She also needs to say that the wish to be liked isn’t girlish, feminine or womanly; it is human. Contrary to platitude, other people can hurt and stigmatize you with their verbal abuse or harassment, no matter how strong you are. Still, although she hasn’t unraveled every knot, Frankel comes a long way toward helping women diagnose - with a self-assessment checklist - and correct inadvertent mistakes that could be holding them back. getAbstract recommends her valuable counsel to women who want to become respected leaders.

Summary

"Enjoy Being a Girl" Only Takes You So Far

Female socialization is one reason that women head fewer than a dozen of the U.S.’s biggest businesses. Society trains girls to fit a mold of traditional femininity that includes doing as you are told, working harder, complaining less and avoiding being a threat to anyone, ever. Following these rules becomes second nature to girls when parents, teachers and peers reward them for it and reject or punish them otherwise.

By the time women enter the business world and want to move up, their feminine tendencies govern them, though they are so ingrained that women may not recognize their presence. These tendencies can lead to 101 (or more) common behaviors and beliefs that keep women from getting promotions, raises and respect.

Those women who get described as "self-defeating" are not trying to avoid success, but rather are continuing to follow powerful messages they learned early in life. They are conditioned to avoid the pain that came their way when they broke the rules.

Adult women, too, are often demeaned or dismissed at work and at home for failing to be passive and compliant. This creates a dilemma for women who...

About the Author

Lois P. Frankel, Ph.D., is president of Corporate Coaching International and specializes in workplace behavior, empowerment of women and career counseling. She has worked with executives and managers at Fortune 100 companies and is a frequent speaker. She is a licensed psychotherapist with a doctorate in counseling psychology and is author of Overcoming Your Strengths and Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich: 75 Avoidable Mistakes Women Make with Money.

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D. S. 2 months ago

ok
A. 7 years ago

New graduate, just started working.
This book helps me to exert my influence and become a better professional.
Five stars.
A. C. 7 years ago

Great book for women at all stages on their professional careers. Highly recommended.

Lois P. Frankel