Summary of Self-Esteem

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Self-Esteem book summary
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Rating

8

Qualities

  • Innovative

Recommendation

Each individual manifests self-esteem, or the lack of it, differently. Generally, people with strong self-esteem had parents who nurtured them constantly during their early childhood, while those with low self-esteem often did not. Can people with low self-esteem build it as adults? Yes, because self-esteem is how you feel about yourself, and your thoughts control your feelings. If you take command of your thoughts, you can take command of your feelings, including your sense of self. In this fine book on self-esteem, Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning show you how to banish regressive “stinking thinking” and the nasty inner critic that inevitably tries to flatten your self-esteem. You can use their instructive “cognitive techniques” to elevate your self-esteem, develop self-assurance and feel better about yourself. getAbstract finds McKay and Fanning’s book warm and practical. If their self-esteem is high, there’s a good reason.

About the Authors

Matthew McKay, Ph.D., is the clinical director of a psychological services practice in San Francisco. Patrick Fanning is a writer who specializes in mental-health topics. Both men are authors of other books on self-help and related subjects.

 

Summary

Without Self-Esteem, You’re Dead

Life is tough, brutal and unforgiving – a knockdown, heavyweight fight. So, how can you survive? Build your self-esteem. If you feel that you do not deserve such a rough time, that you merit good experiences, not bad ones, then get up and fight back. But what if you do not possess this vital spur of self-worth? Then, you get into deeper trouble. You start to kick yourself while you’re down and that’s no way to win a fight. You need a proper sense of self-esteem to give yourself a chance to prevail against your challenges. Without it, you can end up on the ropes. Affirm yourself and you win. Reject yourself and you lose. This is life’s most basic rule.

Without self-esteem, you will judge yourself too harshly, fear others, shun risk and limit yourself in every way. When you are certain you will fail, life becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of defeat, as you try to get by with excuses and maladaptive, self-destructive behavior. You try everything from bravado, anger and perfectionism to abuse of drugs, food or alcohol to deal with your interior pain. Of course, since you are always so critical of yourself, this is just what you deserve...


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