Summary of Surviving Infidelity

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“I’ve been unfaithful.” With this sentence, most marriages will never be the same again, if they survive at all. Authors Rona B. Subotnik and Gloria G. Harris pledge to provide counsel to those who are hurt and reeling. getAbstract believes this book fulfills their promise. The authors thoroughly explore types of affairs; teach you how to cope with your pain, grief and anger; and advise you how to decide if you want the marriage to continue. Then they offer compassionate guidance on how to repair your relationship. With the knowledge drawn from their clinical practices, they also show you how to heal your wounds and emerge as a stronger, better person. If you’re struggling to pick up the pieces of your life, your marriage and your heart, this book can help.

About the Authors

Rona B. Subotnik is a licensed marriage and family therapist and is in private practice. In 2001, she co-authored Infidelity on the Internet: Virtual Relationships and Real Betrayal. Gloria G. Harris, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and co-author of the book Assertive Training for Women.



Four Types of Cheaters

Most marriages rest on a foundation of monogamy. When one partner cheats, the foundation begins to crumble. Research shows that about half of married men and a quarter of married women stray. And the number is rising for women.

An affair is “an illicit amorous relationship or liaison.” While every affair is serious, each falls along a continuum based on how much emotion the partner invests in the outside relationship. Understanding the type of affair helps to determine if you want to salvage your relationship. The four categories of affairs are serial affairs, flings, romantic love affairs and long-term affairs.

Serial affairs are brief encounters for sex rather than emotional intimacy. Spouses who indulge in serial affairs are looking for excitement, not commitment. If caught, they apologize, are remorseful and beg for forgiveness, but they often regress to philandering. Why risk a marriage over a meaningless encounter? Some serial lovers suffer from sex addiction. Others are narcissistic. Some have emotional problems that prohibit them from making meaningful connections or sustaining long-term social interactions.

Flings differ ...

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