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How to chat with almost anyone
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How to chat with almost anyone

It can be awkward at first, but people are more open to conversation than you think – and it could lead to deeper connection

Michael Yeomans
Psyche, 2025
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Humans crave social connection, but many people are too shy to strike up a conversation with strangers. Rest assured, most people are more open to connecting than you might think, says academic Michael Yeomans. His research finds that individuals are missing out on opportunities to build rapport. Conversing isn’t simple, so be prepared to put in the hard work, he advises. Happily, with practice, you can become a skilled conversationalist.

Summary

Notice opportunities to initiate dialogue.

Opportunities for small talk are abundant, so learn to spot them. For instance, a neighbor whom you regularly meet on the street might be open to discussing the surrounding area — the shops, amenities, transport network, local sports teams, and so on. If you take part in an activity — say, an art or fitness class — other participants will willingly discuss your lessons. Once you put away your phone and start paying attention to people around you, you’ll find that opportunities for connecting are rampant.

Practice makes perfect, but it involves trial and error.

Many people wait for the right moment to initiate a dialogue, but if you don’t dive headfirst into conversations, you won’t refine your skills. Repetition is the key to success, so practice engaging with others; the results could surprise you. Yes, sometimes your efforts will be in vain; your conversation partners might be too tired or cranky to chat, which could lead to temporary awkwardness. But the worst that could happen is that you revert to your earlier...

About the Author

Michael Yeomans is an assistant professor of organizational behavior at Imperial College Business School in London. 

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